Waiting and dreading the inevitable?

You know the feeling... your child is puking and you know you are next. Still holding out hope that he ate something weird, or that you already had what ever he had... he just was hit harder(HA HA). But every stomach grumble (which happens when you are up in the middle of the night for an extended period of time) has you running to the bathroom only to find out that you need something to eat. However you end up looking through the fridge figuring out what you could stomach throwing up. Isn't that funny, we think "would that be easy to watch come out of me? Would this gross me out any less?" You sit terrified to eat anything and all the while stomach grumbles increase in intensity and frequency. Ohh... if only I didn't have to use my brain in the middle of the night. I could continue to help Ethan with my hands but my mind would be still in bed oblivious to the inevitable.

Well, off to the kitchen for some Ritz crackers with the bucket dangling from my wrist.
BRING IT ON!

Fall is in the air... offically

Today was Ethan's first day of Soccer. It was a day much anticipated and talked about non-stop for the last week. I have rarely seen Ethan so excited about something (Birthdays, Christmas and visits with family aside). It was shocking to me because my timid little boy was actually looking forward to something he knew nothing about, a coach he didn't know, a situation out of his control AND he would be separated from Mom and Dad. It is not that we haven't pushed him to do things in the past, it is just that it never happened without a fight. Ethan loved it. I loved watching him. the scene was hilarious. If you have never watched 4 and 5 year olds play a game they know nothing about, you are missing out. There are those 5 or 6 who are all over the ball, running the game. Then you have the majority of the team acting as "ball magnets," never touching the ball but drawn to the running crowd. They follow the mass of children the entire game, just happy to be running. Then you have those 4 or 5 kids picking flowers, grass and clover, or singing and dancing. My very favorite were the 2 girls, told to stand in specific places and kick the ball when it came to them. THEY NEVER MOVED! They remained in their designated spots the entire game, determined to obey the coach. Adorable (and obedient). Ethan loved it so much, he and John made up a song for the team about soccer.





Progress on the houses is going well. John is really enjoying the responsibilities of his job. He was meant to build. He is meticulous about his work. I enjoy watching him "do all things heartily as to the Lord."





Wade and Matt Lange have been working with John and moving along on some other projects around camp.

I'm Radioactive

I was not sure how I would get radioactive, but I was sure I wouldn't like it. My stomach was in knots during the 2 hour drive to Montrose. I was starving and bought a bagel sandwich but was never able to tolorate more than a couple bites. I am not that afraid of needles but when it comes to sticking them into an organ, spine, face or neck, then I am. Arms are meant for needles, buttocks are meant for needles. I was not sure if it was going to be my neck or my arm and I was pulling for the latter. When I finally got escorted to Nuclear Medicine and my escort was seriously wondering if I would get a radioactive sticker to wear the rest of the day, I was sure I was in some movie. A few minutes in the waiting room and I was whisked away down another hall towards a door with a large "RADIOACTIVE" sign on it. I knew that door was for me and then I started wondering if they WERE going to make me wear a sticker. Behind the door was a very normal, sterile room with lots of huge scanners and contraptions. Before me was a surgical type tray, laden with the blue sterile paper. I started looking for the needle that wasn't there and I honestly don't remember what else was on the tray. My eyes were searching for only one thing. And as he was talking about something, my eyes fixed on a large, solid cylinder that resembled the bullet proof glass/plastic windows found at a bank. There was something in the middle of it. Next thing I know he headed towards me with what I can only imagine was a protective cylinder that was only protecting him. I was going to have whatever was in that container coursing through my veins. Well in turned out it went through my stomach first. They were only pills. Radioactive pills nonetheless. I don't know if I let out a sigh of relief or not, but relief flooded my body. PILLS!! I can take a pill and come back in 6 hours. I could eat anything I wanted, do whatever I wanted for 6 hours WITHOUT a sticker. I am not sure if Wal-mart would have let me in if I had that sticker. I had a wonderful day shopping in stores I had never seen, eating a 2 hour meal just me and my magazine! The scan I wan't worried about. When I arrived at 5:00 that evening for my scan, I was wondering what the big deal was about the MRIs and such. You just lie there and stay still. So he lays me on the table and says, "I'm not going to smoosh you in here, just get close. He lowers this large panel close to my face and chest. "Not too bad" I was thinking, I have like a foot of wiggle room. He gets it all in place and then says, "ok we are going to start the scan." The panel starts closing in and the next thing I know, it is about an inch away from my face. It wasn't touching me but I stupidly started wondering what people panic about. The machine falling on me? A fire and not being able to squeeze out of there? Ok, Now my blood pressure is starting to rise. What if I DID need to get out of there quick? So I closed my eyes and fell asleep for the next 15 minutes. That was much better. I ended up not establishing an irrational fear that day (not that those of you who fear those types of things are crazy, I almost had myself there). The next morning I did a second scan in which I closed my eyes imediately and took another nap. Then I got blood drawn and I was on my way. That was so simple and I got a mini vacation. Later in the afternoon, all of my tests came back normal. No thyroid cancer and all my bloodwork was normal. I still don't feel normal so we still need to explore some other possiblilities. So please continue to pray for me and the doctors. I am exhausted among many other things. But for now my only question is, am I still glowing inside?

So was it worth it?

Yesterday was grocery day. I know that no matter where you are, grocery shopping borders on torturous. So I decided to put a little joy back in your grocery day, even if it is at MY expense.

My first option for groceries is Lake city (for those of you that have experienced our country store, you may go ahead and skip to option 2). Food is probably at least twice the price as option 2 grocery store. I will give you an example. On thursday, I needed 2 sticks of glue for VBS and bought them at the country store for $2. Yesterday I bought the same ones for $.20. A box of cereal is around $5-$6. The country store is also our meat market, local gun emporium, tax services, movie rental and girl scout cookie distributer. ( I am sure I missed one or two things) It contains 5 isles that prove to be a problem if you would happen to be in the store at the same time as anyone else. Similar to the 4X4 jeep, shelf roads we have around here, one party must back up until they reach a "safe" place to turn around. This will first include an attempt to go around one another (especially if the other party is a tourist, who seems to find this amusing), in which turning your cart sideways only empties the contents of your basket, including any children you may have inside. If the store posted "one way" signs, this encounter could be avoided outside of tourist season. Needless to say, the country store is only an option when you are snowed into Lake City or you are on your way to the church potluck your husband neglected to tell you about. Let me note that option 1 is not always even an option being 20 minutes a way. Usually you call all of your neighbors first, to raid their pantries.

Option 2 is Gunnison. It has a great City Market and the Nations smallest Walmart. An simple shout in our Walmart and you can get the attention of a person on the complete opposite end of the store. And you can most likely even carry on a converstion from that distance. If you actually find what you are looking for, you will probably only have one or two choices. Non of those fun, Target look alike items. Just the plain white or black basics. I do understand what a Super Walmart does to small town, because I shop for most thing in the downtown boutiques. Now, City Market proves to have most of what I need except the prices I want. It is also a hour and a half drive (one way) over 2 mountain passes. Despite the drive, most of our shopping is done in Gunnison. Always a full day.

Option 3. Montrose. 2 hours away and 4 mountain passes later, we arrive in a normal size town. This town offers all I need (not all I want) in a super Walmart, Home Depot, cold stone creamery, Chilis, Starbucks, Papa Murphys and coming soon... a Target and JC Penneys!!! Beth, it is finally happening!!!! Now I know you are wondering why I don't go there all of the time instead of messing with Gunnison. At least that is what I ask myself this question all of the time. But it is an extra hour and a half round trip. And, if you thought that Gunnison was an all day trip, Montrose is a marathon. To actually accomplish all of the little stops, in a town that believes every corner needs a stop light, is a talent in it's self. You can go and hit Walmart for one stop shopping, Chilis and Home Depot across the street, But the question is, "was it worth it to come all this way and only go to Walmart?" So in yesterday's excursion, we left at 7:30 a.m. with plans of being back in time to thow frozen pizzas in the oven for dinner. What I forgot to mention earlier is that you rarely make a trip by yourself. Car pooling is the most economical choice with gas at $3.69 a gallon and driving the gas hogging, 4wd vehicle these mountains require. No one, besides myself, has less than 2 kiddos which leaves you with numerous car seats to buckle, hands to hold, behinds to wipe, mouths to feed, naps to avoid or achieve and fights to break up. And, of course, they never all need the same thing at the same time. Yesterday was no exception (I wish I could say it was). I rode with my next door neighbor who has 3 kids ages 3, 1 and 5 months.

We pile in the suburban at 7:30, make 2 potty stops and make it to Montrose in good time. Great start to the day. We make our first stop at the speech therapy center for the 3 year old and 2 of the 4 kids are screaming with Ethan to follow moments later when he slams a hand in the door. I am on the phone with my doctor discussing my fat needle biopsy when this occurs. So now I have 3 screaming kids (sarah and her son are inside) and blood going everywhere. Next we go to the first store and the 1 year old has a blow out diaper. I mean everywhere. So now we are searching for clothes for the little girl who is in her diaper. eventually we end up going to walmart, finding clothes and going to the park for lunch. We thought this would be great for the kids, however, no one wants to play due to the 90 plus degree weather and they are all complaining instead. More nursing, bottom wiping and crying happens here. We finally make it to Walmart where we notice the 3 year old has a total blow out diaper too. (notice the trend?) Obviously there is a bug going through the truck and the question is who is going to get it next? 2 hours, a massive headache and several trips to the bathroom later, we make it out of there with intentions of hitting starbucks and going home. In time for supper right? We get our starbucks and find the kids hungry. Start heading to Mc Donalds and Malachi is about to throw up. We stop for dramamine, Papa Murphy's for supper and then waiting in line at McDonald's drive thru when my doctor calls back. Now we are up for ordering but I am on the phone. We pull out of line, go back in when the call is done, order food. Ethan has to go to the bathroom and upon returning, Sarah says her kids need changing. It is at this point decide we are just going to go in. A quick run through the drive thru turns into an hour event of diapers, nursing and playing. At 6:45 PM our visit to Montrose is over as we pull out of town. 2 hours more and we are finally back home with a kitchen full of groceries to unpack. Actually when I look back at it, 13 hours for groceries isn't too bad. It HAS been worse!!!

It's the waiting that will get you

I went to the doctor today (yes on sunday. the clinic runs 7 days a week. Crazy for a small town that only has one restaurant open through the winter and most aren't open on the weekends). But yes I went to my doctor today because that was when he had an opening. Back in March he found a spot on my thyroid that he wanted me to get biopsied, but as the summer got busier and busier, I put it off. To save you from all of the intimate details, I decided it was time to revisit my thyroid and find out what was happening. Of course I am always a complex puzzle that my doctor stands in awe of. There is never an easy answer for me. I am not a text book patient by any stretch of the imagination (but I suppose most of us are not). Although I feel like I have heard "Wow... I haven't seen anything like that before" more than one person should ever have to. Just once I would like to hear "oh you fit perfectly into this page in my text book. I was just reading up on your condition and it is SOOOO easy to fix." So anyways, back to my appointment. He really thinks all my symptoms are thyroid related but they could all easily fall under some other category with a totally different treatment! An ultrasound revealed that the questionable area had spread and my right thyroid also has a very small spot that wasn't there in March. Even though I have had all of the blood work done in the past, they are going to run several more tests, along with repeating my previous tests. Then Dr. Durmon is going to set up an appointment for a fine needle biopsy of the area. But I have seen those "fine" needles before and they look FAT to me. And I don't feel "fine" about them sticking that into my neck! ARG! I want to know what is going on with my body yet I am nervous about getting there and discouraged that we aren't getting there fast enough, all at the same time.